We often say being a doula is a calling, not a job or career. I think what we mean is that we are honored to be able to comfort a new mother during her labor. We are joyful when parents get to welcome a new baby into their family. We are excited to be able to offer our experience with breastfeeding and postpartum travails, if we can help a mother ease into her new life that way.
Because we are fascinated by this process of birth and new mothering, we study it and become more knowledgeable about it. We try to be a useful resource for mothers and new families. Yet, that isn’t the most important thing we do. We offer our support and comfort because people matter. New babies are people who matter. New mothers are people who matter. New fathers are people who matter. We do our best to help ease the way. We enjoy helping and being a resource. That’s what matters.
Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! For me this day is grandparent day and the day to celebrate our civil rights. No one should give away their civil rights in the name of civil security, that is my dream. His dream was that we could all stand together as brothers, sisters and mothers. Mothers, especially, should stand together. We all are trying our best to raise our children to be happy. Let’s support each other even though we are all different.
Easily access to birth control methods is a relatively recent event for humanity. For most of our history, events unfolded and families grew and mothers and fathers accepted new nurslings. These days, many parents have waited until they both decided it was time to have a baby. This makes the decision almost as difficult as deciding whom to marry. Should we have a child now? Are we financially ready? Is it the right time in our lives? Is our relationship secure? If we already have one child, are we prepared to take on a second…
When you have to choose and decide, it makes the whole process much more ponderous. Are you justified in proposing to be new parents? Will you be any good at it? Questions abound. Now you both have to feel the same way at the same time.
Because all this planning is new to our species, people are postponing marriage and parenthood. Men are feeling less stress than women, whose biology is more constraining. Our fertile years are shorter than men’s.
Every child is a wonderful blessing and a new person you can love. Each is an entirely new friend in your life, someone to grow with, someone to appreciate. Remember, they start small, so that you can grow with them.
How do you know if you are ready for your labor to begin? At the end of pregnancy, most women can’t wait to great their baby. But are they ready for their labors to begin?
Women who have overly big anxieties can postpone their labors by a few days. The hormones of anxiety can retard the hormones of labor. So if your due date comes and you wonder why you aren’t in labor yet, ask yourself if you are emotionally ready.
If you have anxieties, you can talk them through to help you feel more ready. You can talk to your doula. She’s probably spoken to many women who are worried about their births. The amazing thing is that all women worry at one time or other if they are ever going to have the baby. Trust me, you will have the baby, just relax!
Life is a series of crucial moments. Birth is one of these. Don’t lose faith in your ability to give birth when the crucial moment comes! Instead, trust yourself and remember that you are a strong woman.