Archive for the ‘Emotional Support’ Category

Nursing In Special Circumstances

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

World Breastfeeding Week is coming at the beginning of August. I have decided to join with the Breastfeeding Cafe to celebrate. They wanted to hear about nursing in special circumstances. It seems like I have a lot of stories to tell…

One of my favorites is when my son was about 5 months old and I had started going back to births. Being a birth doula, I never knew how long I would be gone when I left for a birth… Basically, I’d be gone for as long as the birth took. I had to pump my milk in anticipation and freeze as much as I could and hope it would be enough. At the birth I would have to take pumping breaks. The mothers that I supported were all planning to breastfeed and thought it was greatto have a lactating doula.

One of my births was proving to be very long. I missed my son and he missed me. We had enough saved milk for him, but I called my husband in tears to tell him that the birth was going to go for several hours more. It was becoming hard for me to relax to help my laboring mom (client). So my husband brought my son to the hospital. We met in a family waiting room. I held my son and nursed him. We were able to reconnect. It was much better than just pumping. Nursing my own son was therapy for me. I was able to go back into the labor room and finish the birth! Sometimes it is the doula who needs support!

Why I Enjoy Birth

Friday, July 9th, 2010

I was trained to be a lawyer and  a librarian. Both of these are worthy jobs. About 11 years ago I allowed myself to answer the question: “If I could do anything I wanted to do, what would I choose?” I became fascinated with birth. Once I started to support women in labor, even before I had my own birth, I just enjoyed it so much. I looked forward to going to births and was proud and excited that women paid me to support them. It didn’t seem like work…

Of course, laboring with a mother is a lot of work. I have sweated with mothers, moaned with them, prayed for them and with them, walked endless hospital corridors with them. Sometimes I went for days without sleep. Sometimes I couldn’t eat for more than a day. Sometimes I have worried and sometimes I have felt unappreciated. Yes indeed, it is work to birth a baby. Hard work!

But I love it! Sometimes when I have helped a mom get into her birth groove and made sure that she felt supported, I have been surprised when the baby was born! As I help a mother live in the moment, I also live in the moment. Finally, after all the work, a beautiful baby is born. The mom can’t believe she has done it! She is a hero to her husband. Her husband, the new dad, gets to hold his small miracle. Breastfeeding begins.

Some mothers tell me they couldn’t have done it without me. Sometimes the tears of joy in her eyes let me know how she feels. She has birthed her baby! A new chapter in her life begins. That’s when I feel so blessed. She has allowed me into this beautiful moment. I was able to see it and help her with it. Another life begins. What could be more fun than that?

Doula Support in Early Pregnancy

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

A medieval pregnant woman receiving herbal help.

Pregnancy and birth are a normal and beautiful process. Yet, sometimes, mothers suffer miscarriages and loss. Any mother who has previously had one or more miscarriages can use doula support right at the beginning of her pregnancy. As doulas we can advocate for you and support you emotionally at a time when you might not even be telling people you are pregnant. We can advocate for you by helping you get specialized medical and even herbal pregnancy support.

Mothers who have previously had difficult bouts with morning sickness or other problems can also use early doula support. Pregnancy and birth are a journey which does not have to be lonely. Let a doula support you on your journey.

Birth is Cultural

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

We think of birth as a way to add to our family. We think of birth as a physiologic process. We worry about the unknown territory of birth. Birth is first and foremost, a cultural event. Why cultural? Why not a private event? What is our culture of birth?

Birth is cultural the way eating is cultural. We all need to eat to survive, but birthday cake is cultural. Much of what we eat, how we eat and who we eat with is cultural. Think of chopsticks versus knife and fork. Birth is the same way. You could give birth at home, on a park bench, in a midwife center or a hospital. I slipped in park bench, didn’t I? Who is comfortable with the idea of giving birth on a pubic park bench? That is cultural.

You might think that OB’s who supervise births in hospitals would allow women to do the physical things which help her to get her baby born. You would think that we would have incorporated into our birth practices all our eons of knowledge of what works best for mom and baby to have safe and satisfying births. But you would be wrong! Much of what hospitals and even mothers do regarding birth is based on our culture of birth.  Birth culture varies within the United States. For example, here in Pittsburgh, if a mother wants to have an enema to help her with her birth, she can only have one if her midwife requests one. Most doctors won’t bother to request one. Most moms giving birth in Pittsburgh won’t have an enema even if they request it themselves. Why? Because enemas are not part of our current birth culture.

You may not care about that. Who wants an enema (unless they really need one)? Still, the culture of birth where you are birthing will dictate many things. Will you have constant fetal monitoring during labor or have a choice? Will your baby be whisked away after birth and reunited with you later? Will your baby have to “prove” it can drink from a bottle before your baby can be at your breast? It goes on and on.

How do you know what your local birth culture is? Ask moms who have recently given birth where you are planning to give birth. Write a birth vision and talk to your care-giver about it. (Our book: Doulas’ Guide to Birthing Your Way describes in detail how to write your own user-friendly birth vision.) Hiring a local doula can really help, too. Doulas know what your local options are. That really opens up your choices. Your doula’s goal should be that your birth is culturally compatible with you! It is your birth, after all.

Feeling helpless

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

When you are pregnant especially for the first time, it is easy to feel helpless when doctors or nurses tell you some procedure is necessary that you did not want to do. You are naturally concerned for your baby. You know that you hired the medical professionals to tell you when medical things were necessary. So how do you sort out what is really necessary for you and your baby from what is the normal way they do things which you don’t really need?

First, remember that you are the health care customer. It is true, you are the mom, not the doctor (even if you are a doctor – in this situation you are the mom). You can always go and get another opinion or even vote with your feet and get another care provider. This is much more difficult during labor. So if you have real doubts about the compatibility of your caregiver or birth site and your wishes, figure it out before labor begins!

Second, remember that birth is a normal physiologic process. Doctors are supposed to assist you, not hinder you in your normal physiologic process. Midwives often say they have “caught” a baby, not “birthed”. It is up to the mom to birth her baby, everyone else should be on her birth team and working for her!

Third, it is your birth and your baby! True, you have hired people (like midwives, doctors or doulas) to assist you and help you achieve your birth vision. They have expertise that you probably don’t have. But this is your birth and your body and your baby. Anything that comes up regarding the care of your baby or birth should have a decent, medical reason for it. When your doctor explains why something is necessary, it should make sense to you. You should always be able to have a dialogue with your care provider. If you can’t, you can vote with your feet!

image from Women's International League for Peace and Freedom