When a good friend has a baby, you want to help out. Your friend probably also wants and needs help, but will she ask for it? Often the answer is no. She feels she should be able to take care of her newly enlarged family on her own. She should be able to care for her baby and herself and her home and also whatever she needs to do with her older children, husband and job. There is so much etcetera in her life that she is just used to dealing with it by herself.
Here is what I know: new moms need support. They need support if it is their first baby or their sixth. They need to physically recover after their birth. This is even more true after a cesarean birth. They need to babymoon with the baby and learn how to nurse (or just establish nursing with this child). They need to have help with meals and daily chores. A new mom needs to know that she is respected by her peers and in-laws as the mother of her child. She needs autonomy and also lines of support that she can call on. She needs respect and support.
As a friend, you can help her with that. If she knows you are willing to offer assistance, she can let you now what help that day would really be helpful. Sometimes it is just a quick errand. Sometimes it is knowing she can call to talk if she has questions or is feeling frantic. She shouldn’t feel alone. They say it takes a village to raise a child. One of the reasons is that being a mother should not be done in solitude. Even knowing she has friends she can call on, even if she doesn’t need to call on them, is great help.